Life Can be Beautiful and Challenging at the Same Time

Reflections from Sarah Joy Gaines

Networked with the Benedictine Sisters of Erie, “Brick by Brick” is a publication that provides generative space to allow young people to grow, explore, and see how monastic wisdom, paired with their unique experiences, takes root in their life. Interested in contributing? See our about page.

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On a gray April morning in Brooklyn, I hugged my boyfriend goodbye, grabbed a latte from my favorite coffee shop, and hopped in a rental car. After a full day on the road, I arrived in Erie, greeted by a sign that read “Life can be both beautiful and challenging at the same time.” A mile later, another sign offered the same bit of wisdom. Some yards later, a third. Message received. 

When people ask me how I found Mount St. Benedict Monastery, I can only chalk it up to pure divine intervention. When I learned about the Joan Chittister Writer-in-Residence program, I was finishing a Master’s in Women, Gender, Spirituality & Social Justice. For my final project, I was writing a book proposal on reclaiming the sacredness of the body. At the same time, I was experiencing my own spiritual evolution. 

(As if you could summarize a spiritual journey into a paragraph!) I was raised Jewish and explored a variety of spiritual practices in my twenties. Along the way, Jesus began walking into my life. While this newfound path of Christianity felt supportive in many ways, I also felt resistance from my Jewish upbringing and my feminist framework–one that has a watchful eye for language and structures that may be exclusive or oppressive. I was skeptical and, I was slowly opening the door. I was interested in learning how Christianity and feminism co-exist. 

This inquiry led me to find the Benedictine Sisters and eventually to apply for the residency. As if crafted for this particular point in my life, it was the perfect opportunity to complete my book proposal and deepen my spiritual exploration, with no expectation of how my time at a women’s monastery would truly influence me. Little did I know, it would be one of the most grounding, transformative months of my life.

Here’s what my month at the monastery offered me:

Solititude. Peace. Quiet. Moments of deep introspection, feeling, and healing. Simple moments of ease amidst the trees and beside the waves of Lake Erie. Slowness and spaciousness. 

Structure. The offered schedule of set prayer and meal times provided a foundation for creation that I didn’t know I needed. The structure of monastic daily life made it easy for me to create my own habits, routines, and rituals for productivity and self-care within that structure. Not to mention, the break from my usual setting, habits, and things was a much celebrated reset.

Community. Hospitality. My time with the Sisters began with the warmest welcome and embrace into their world. After one week, I felt like I had been there for months. They taught me to treat everyone as Christ, as the Rule of Benedict offers. I felt that from the moment I arrived. They invited me to their tables, their conversations, their liturgies, their Peace walks, their exercise classes, and their sisterhood. They shared with me their wisdom and they invited me to share mine. With so much talk about community in the current state of our world, it was a gift to experience how a community truly works together through celebration, challenge, and the monotony of daily life.

Wholeness. From the April morning I left Brooklyn to the May evening I arrived back, I experienced an embodied sense of wholeness. To be welcomed into the home of the Benedictine Sisters, immersed in their community and spirit, the tensions I held when I entered softened. My faith became more grounded, more true to me. My spirit felt uplifted and supported. My capacity to hold the reality that life can be beautiful and challenging at the same time strengthened. 

What I know to be true is that life will always be beautiful and challenging at the same time.

To recognize the beauty of God is to shine light where that beauty has been desecrated. To dance in joy is to fight for a world where all beings can do the same. 

May our capacity to witness what is beautiful strengthen our capacity to move through what is challenging. May we move through what is challenging to create a more beautiful world for all.

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AUTHOR

Sarah Joy Gaines, M.A. is the founder of Joyflow®, a mindful movement method to feel free in your body. For the last decade, Sarah has been a vocal advocate for inclusivity and accessibility in the wellness industry, teaching movement around the world, and creating experiences for joyful well-being. With a Master's in Women, Gender, Spirituality & Social Justice, Sarah aims to create an equitable world of well-being where folks feel connected to themselves, their community, and the world around them. In April 2024, Sarah was the Joan Chittister Writer-in-Residence at Mount St. Benedict Monastery. Learn more about Joyflow® here and subscribe to Sarah’s substack here.